From BRAZEN CAREERIST:
How much money buys happiness? A wide body of research suggests the number is approximately forty thousand dollars a year. Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University, says once you have enough money to meet basic needs – food, shelter, but not necessarily cable —incremental increases have little effect on your happiness.
Aaron Karo, comedian and author of the forthcoming book, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, responds to the number with, “If you want to draw a line in the sand, happiness is having enough money so you don’t have to move back in with your parents.”
To someone who just spent four years in college living off nine-thousand-dollar loan stipends, an increase to forty thousand means a lot – moving from poverty to middle class. But it’s a one-time rush. After you hit the forty-thousand-dollar-range money never gives you that surge in happiness again.
Twentysomethings who are looking for happiness from their careers will benefit from research about their parents’ choices. Richard Easterlin, professor of economics at University of Southern California says previous generations have proven that our desires adjust to our income. “At all levels of income, the typical response is that one needs 20% more to be happy.” Once you have basic needs met, the axiom is true: more money does not make more happiness.
So then one asks, what does matter? The big factors in determining happiness levels are satisfaction with your job and social relationships. And in case you found yourself slipping back to thoughts of salary, according to Easterlin, “How much pleasure people get from their job is independent of how much it pays.”
Unfortunately, people are not good at picking a job that will make them happy. Gilbert found that people are ill equipped to imagine what their life would be like in a given job, and the advice they get from other people is bad, (typified by some version of “You should do what I did.”)
Gilbert recommends going into a career where people are happy. But don’t ask them if their career makes them happy, because most people will say yes; they have a vested interest in convincing themselves they are happy. Instead, try out a few different professions before you settle on one. For college students, Gilbert envisions this happening with part-time jobs and internships at the cost of “giving up a few keggers and a trip to Florida over spring break.” But even if you wait until you enter the workforce, it makes sense to switch from one entry-level job to another; no seniority and scant experience means you have little to lose. So it’s an ideal time to figure out what will make you happy: Use a series of jobs to observe different professions at close range to see if YOU think they make people happy.
It’s simple, proven advice, but few people take it because they think they are unique and their experience in a career will be different. Get over that. You are not unique, you are basically just like everyone else. Gilbert can, in the course of five minutes, rattle off ten reasons why people think they are unique but they are not. For example: We spend our lives finding differences between people to choose teachers, band mates and spouses, so our perception of peoples’ differences is exaggerated… And then Gilbert gets to grapes: “If you spend seven years studying the differences between grapes, no two will look the same to you, but really a grape is a grape.”
So your first step is to stop thinking you’re a special case. Take Gilbert’s advice and choose a career based on your assessment of other people in that career. You next step is to focus on social relationships, because in terms of happiness, job satisfaction is very important but social relationships are most important.
And by social relations, most researchers mean sex – with one, consistent partner. So consider giving your career aspirations a little less weight than you give your aspirations for sex. For those of you who like a tangible goal, David Blanchflower, professor of economics at Dartmouth College says, “Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness. And then the diminishing returns begin to set in.” He adds, to the joy of all who are underemployed, “It’s true that money impacts which person you marry, but money doesn’t impact the amount of sex you have.”
Maybe all this research simply justifies the twentysomething tendency to hold a series of entry-level jobs and put off having children. Says Karo: “All we really want is to get paid and get laid.”
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Five ways to feel less guilty quitting – and why Gen Y feels guilt giving notice
From BRAZEN CAREERIST:
I write posts about how to quit because so many people ask me for advice, but I marvel that this is such a big issue.
I have no memory of any of my Gen-X peers having this problem. Maybe because when we were in our twenties there were not jobs to consider quitting. But I think the real issue is that Gen Y is one of the most loyal generations to come along in a while.
Just because young people job hop constantly doesn’t mean they are not loyal. In fact, the reason they job hop is undying loyalty to the values their parents raised them with: Value your time (remember those overscheduled after-school superstars?) and always learn new things (Gen Y is the most educated generation, ever).
So Generation Y leaves a job when there is not great personal growth. But in each job they have, they are great at asking people to help them, so they generally feel guilt when they leave one of those people for a new job offer – because Gen Y feels loyal to people who help them.
And, one more guilt factor: Gen Y are great team players. Team players in a way that Gen X and the Baby Boomers can’t touch. So quitting a job to Gen Y is jilting the team, and they feel bad.
Mangers need to understand these issues when a young person is quitting. That young person probably has a lot of guilt, and you could make their life better by congratulating them on their new move and thanking them for their work and assuring them things will be fine when they leave.
If you are a young person worrying about quitting, though, here’s a reality check. The company is going to be fine when you leave. There’s no need for guilt. And here’s why:
1. Money talks.
And at the entry level it says: “Easily replaced.” If you are paid a low salary then the office is not going to be disabled if you leave. If you are so important and so difficult to replace then they can pay more and hire someone quickly. That’s why essential people are highly paid.
2. If you have a good boss, your boss knew you were looking.
Most people under 30 are job hunting - at least passively - all the time. It should not be news to your boss that you are in an entry level job and would quit if someone offered you a better job. And if you are entry level then most jobs are better than what you have, so the odds of you leaving at any moment are huge, no matter how nice your boss is to you.
3. Your company has little loyalty to you.
If your company laid you off, they’d give you two weeks’ notice. That’s how the work world works. Play by the rules. Give two weeks notice. If your boss is so desperate without you she can double your salary to keep you there, right? And she probably won’t do that. The two weeks’ rule is there because once people know about an upcoming separation, the workplace dynamic changes, and the less time you have to deal with this dynamic the more productive everyone will be.
4. Good mentors care about you and want to see you grow.
If someone has been a good mentor to you then you owe it to them not to screw them. This means, don’t let them go to bat for you to — like, get you a raise — if you’re quitting the next day. But if someone has been a good mentor and you have been a good mentee, then you don’t owe the person more than telling him or her when you have a new job. Two weeks is fine.
5. A don’t-ask-don’t-tell approach works.
Do not tell your boss you are looking for a new job when you do not have a new job. There is nothing she can do in response to that. She can’t hire someone new yet, because you’re not gone and you have no idea when you’ll actually get another job. So telling her doesn’t help anyone, it just adds tension at work.
I write posts about how to quit because so many people ask me for advice, but I marvel that this is such a big issue.
I have no memory of any of my Gen-X peers having this problem. Maybe because when we were in our twenties there were not jobs to consider quitting. But I think the real issue is that Gen Y is one of the most loyal generations to come along in a while.
Just because young people job hop constantly doesn’t mean they are not loyal. In fact, the reason they job hop is undying loyalty to the values their parents raised them with: Value your time (remember those overscheduled after-school superstars?) and always learn new things (Gen Y is the most educated generation, ever).
So Generation Y leaves a job when there is not great personal growth. But in each job they have, they are great at asking people to help them, so they generally feel guilt when they leave one of those people for a new job offer – because Gen Y feels loyal to people who help them.
And, one more guilt factor: Gen Y are great team players. Team players in a way that Gen X and the Baby Boomers can’t touch. So quitting a job to Gen Y is jilting the team, and they feel bad.
Mangers need to understand these issues when a young person is quitting. That young person probably has a lot of guilt, and you could make their life better by congratulating them on their new move and thanking them for their work and assuring them things will be fine when they leave.
If you are a young person worrying about quitting, though, here’s a reality check. The company is going to be fine when you leave. There’s no need for guilt. And here’s why:
1. Money talks.
And at the entry level it says: “Easily replaced.” If you are paid a low salary then the office is not going to be disabled if you leave. If you are so important and so difficult to replace then they can pay more and hire someone quickly. That’s why essential people are highly paid.
2. If you have a good boss, your boss knew you were looking.
Most people under 30 are job hunting - at least passively - all the time. It should not be news to your boss that you are in an entry level job and would quit if someone offered you a better job. And if you are entry level then most jobs are better than what you have, so the odds of you leaving at any moment are huge, no matter how nice your boss is to you.
3. Your company has little loyalty to you.
If your company laid you off, they’d give you two weeks’ notice. That’s how the work world works. Play by the rules. Give two weeks notice. If your boss is so desperate without you she can double your salary to keep you there, right? And she probably won’t do that. The two weeks’ rule is there because once people know about an upcoming separation, the workplace dynamic changes, and the less time you have to deal with this dynamic the more productive everyone will be.
4. Good mentors care about you and want to see you grow.
If someone has been a good mentor to you then you owe it to them not to screw them. This means, don’t let them go to bat for you to — like, get you a raise — if you’re quitting the next day. But if someone has been a good mentor and you have been a good mentee, then you don’t owe the person more than telling him or her when you have a new job. Two weeks is fine.
5. A don’t-ask-don’t-tell approach works.
Do not tell your boss you are looking for a new job when you do not have a new job. There is nothing she can do in response to that. She can’t hire someone new yet, because you’re not gone and you have no idea when you’ll actually get another job. So telling her doesn’t help anyone, it just adds tension at work.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
What generation are you part of, really? Take this test.
From BRAZEN CAREERIST:
If you want to know how old you really are, look at the media you use rather than the generation you were born into.
Generational labels are important in the discussion of the changing workforce. For example, we need to understand who is pushing for change and who is criticizing change in order to understand how to create workplace bridges. And increasingly, young people are calling for baby boomers to get out of the way.
However I get a lot of email from people at the later end of the baby boom who do not identify with baby boomers. To some extent researchers have dealt with this issue by categorizing the latter section of the baby boom separately, as Generation Jones (born between 1954 and 1965). This category will make some people feel better, but there still will be baby boomers who are indignant at being lumped with the delusional, self-centered, money-hungry baby boomers.
But hold it. Maybe you are not really part of the generation your birthday falls under.
Here’s an idea: We should determine our generation not by our age but by how we use media. This comes from Margaret Weigel, who has worked at Harvard and MIT doing research on digital media engagement:* “We should not judge people rigidly by the years they were born,” she says, ”If we want to define people by categories, it should be by behaviors because this is something each of us chooses.”
Another reason to use media engagement to peg someone’s age is that the media we use reflects both the space we live in and the circle of friends we run with. For example, you probably won’t find the Wii at a senior center, and you do what your friends do or you’re out of the loop.
So here is a test I put together with the help of an interview with Weigel and an evening reading her blog.
Add up your points to figure out what generation you’re really a part of:
Do you have your own web page? (1 point)
Have you made a web page for someone else? (2 points)
Do you IM your friends? (1 point)
Do you text your friends? (2 points)
Do you watch videos on YouTube? (1 point)
Do you remix video files from the Internet? (2 points)
Have you paid for and downloaded music from the Internet? (1 point)
Do you know where to download free (illegal) music from the Internet? (2 points)
Do you blog for professional reasons? (1 point)
Do you blog as a way to keep an online diary? (2 points)
Have you visited MySpace at least five times? (1 point)
Do you communicate with friends on Facebook? (2 points)
Do you use email to communicate with your parents? (1 point)
Did you text to communicate with your parents? (2 points)
Do you take photos with your phone? (1 point)
Do you share your photos from your phone with your friends? (2 points)
0-1 point - Baby Boomer
2-6 points - Generation Jones
6- 12 points - Generation X
12 or over - Generation Y
If you want to know how old you really are, look at the media you use rather than the generation you were born into.
Generational labels are important in the discussion of the changing workforce. For example, we need to understand who is pushing for change and who is criticizing change in order to understand how to create workplace bridges. And increasingly, young people are calling for baby boomers to get out of the way.
However I get a lot of email from people at the later end of the baby boom who do not identify with baby boomers. To some extent researchers have dealt with this issue by categorizing the latter section of the baby boom separately, as Generation Jones (born between 1954 and 1965). This category will make some people feel better, but there still will be baby boomers who are indignant at being lumped with the delusional, self-centered, money-hungry baby boomers.
But hold it. Maybe you are not really part of the generation your birthday falls under.
Here’s an idea: We should determine our generation not by our age but by how we use media. This comes from Margaret Weigel, who has worked at Harvard and MIT doing research on digital media engagement:* “We should not judge people rigidly by the years they were born,” she says, ”If we want to define people by categories, it should be by behaviors because this is something each of us chooses.”
Another reason to use media engagement to peg someone’s age is that the media we use reflects both the space we live in and the circle of friends we run with. For example, you probably won’t find the Wii at a senior center, and you do what your friends do or you’re out of the loop.
So here is a test I put together with the help of an interview with Weigel and an evening reading her blog.
Add up your points to figure out what generation you’re really a part of:
Do you have your own web page? (1 point)
Have you made a web page for someone else? (2 points)
Do you IM your friends? (1 point)
Do you text your friends? (2 points)
Do you watch videos on YouTube? (1 point)
Do you remix video files from the Internet? (2 points)
Have you paid for and downloaded music from the Internet? (1 point)
Do you know where to download free (illegal) music from the Internet? (2 points)
Do you blog for professional reasons? (1 point)
Do you blog as a way to keep an online diary? (2 points)
Have you visited MySpace at least five times? (1 point)
Do you communicate with friends on Facebook? (2 points)
Do you use email to communicate with your parents? (1 point)
Did you text to communicate with your parents? (2 points)
Do you take photos with your phone? (1 point)
Do you share your photos from your phone with your friends? (2 points)
0-1 point - Baby Boomer
2-6 points - Generation Jones
6- 12 points - Generation X
12 or over - Generation Y
Monday, November 5, 2007
5 ways great speakers connect with their audience
The art of public speaking is actually the art of connecting. So the lessons in this field apply to everyone since each of us needs to make connections. If you can connect with a room full of people, then you can also connect with an audience of one. And the people we remember most are not those with the smartest commentary or sharpest wit. We remember people we feel we connected with.
1. Tell stories
A good way to make connections is telling stories. Chip and Dan Heath wrote a whole book - Made to Stick - on the different types of stories we can construct from the pieces of our lives in order to make people remember us. The key is to have a storyline with conflict and resolution, even if it’s very short. This takes practice because you need to know your stories before you start talking, but once you have the stories, your ability to connect with people improves dramatically.
2. Look deeply at individuals in the audience Many people say they don’t actually know how well they connect with their audience.
Getting audience feedback is an art. TAI Resources, a New York City communications coaching institute, teaches people how to read the audience by searching for a connection.
TAI coaches clients to look at one person until they’ve made one point. You know you are supposed to look at your audience when you talk to them. But in a large room, it’s easy to pick your head up without ever really seeing. That is, you scan the audience constantly and never let your eyes land.
We do this because it’s so hard to talk in an unengaging way and look someone in the eye. And most public speakers are not particularly engaging. You can test yourself - to see if you’re really connected - by forcing yourself to look at one single person while you make a point. Get out the whole idea before you let your eyes move to the next person.
This is a way to know for sure if you are connecting with your audience when you talk. Sticking with one person for each point is painful and nearly impossible if you are not truly connecting your material to that person.
3. Be honest about how you’re doing
But what do you do when you see you aren’t connecting? Some people ignore it, or trick themselves into thinking there is a connection: Think about all the deadly PowerPoint presentations you’ve sat through where the speaker was oblivious to boredom. This tactic alienates an audience, and makes reestablishing a connection very difficult.
Comedian Esther Ku says the best thing to do when you can tell you’re not connected is to acknowledge it. “If a joke fails, I poke fun at myself so I show the audience that I’m aware of what’s going on.” The audience doesn’t need constant genius, the audience needs to know you are clued into how they are reacting. Then you get another try.
4. Smile, even if it’s fake
Your nonverbal body language influences people’s reactions to you more than what you say. For example, Allan and Barbara Pease spend a whole chapter of their book, The Definitive Book of Body Language, dissecting the power of a smile. If you smile at your audience, they are likely to smile back. And a smile engenders good feelings and a true connection — even if the smile is forced, because we are pretty bad at recognizing a fake smile. (This is because when we are forcing a smile, we are still genuinely trying to make a positive connection, so most people will read the nonverbal cue as positive.)
5. Relax
A fake smile is okay. But overwhelming nerves is not. And audience can read uptight pretty clearly, and they don’t like it - it’s not inspiring or trustworthy.
There are lots of ways to get yourself to relax before you connect. One is, of course, to know your material well. But a lot of relaxation is physical, not mental. Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley found that a reliable way to decrease nerves is to have sex before speaking. There are many physical activities that work to decrease the stress of speaking. For example, Ku prepares for a show by jumping up and down for two minutes before she goes on stage.
But what if you do all this and you still don’t connect? Blame it on the audience and try again somewhere else. Because as Ku says, “Some audiences are just not right for you.”
1. Tell stories
A good way to make connections is telling stories. Chip and Dan Heath wrote a whole book - Made to Stick - on the different types of stories we can construct from the pieces of our lives in order to make people remember us. The key is to have a storyline with conflict and resolution, even if it’s very short. This takes practice because you need to know your stories before you start talking, but once you have the stories, your ability to connect with people improves dramatically.
2. Look deeply at individuals in the audience Many people say they don’t actually know how well they connect with their audience.
Getting audience feedback is an art. TAI Resources, a New York City communications coaching institute, teaches people how to read the audience by searching for a connection.
TAI coaches clients to look at one person until they’ve made one point. You know you are supposed to look at your audience when you talk to them. But in a large room, it’s easy to pick your head up without ever really seeing. That is, you scan the audience constantly and never let your eyes land.
We do this because it’s so hard to talk in an unengaging way and look someone in the eye. And most public speakers are not particularly engaging. You can test yourself - to see if you’re really connected - by forcing yourself to look at one single person while you make a point. Get out the whole idea before you let your eyes move to the next person.
This is a way to know for sure if you are connecting with your audience when you talk. Sticking with one person for each point is painful and nearly impossible if you are not truly connecting your material to that person.
3. Be honest about how you’re doing
But what do you do when you see you aren’t connecting? Some people ignore it, or trick themselves into thinking there is a connection: Think about all the deadly PowerPoint presentations you’ve sat through where the speaker was oblivious to boredom. This tactic alienates an audience, and makes reestablishing a connection very difficult.
Comedian Esther Ku says the best thing to do when you can tell you’re not connected is to acknowledge it. “If a joke fails, I poke fun at myself so I show the audience that I’m aware of what’s going on.” The audience doesn’t need constant genius, the audience needs to know you are clued into how they are reacting. Then you get another try.
4. Smile, even if it’s fake
Your nonverbal body language influences people’s reactions to you more than what you say. For example, Allan and Barbara Pease spend a whole chapter of their book, The Definitive Book of Body Language, dissecting the power of a smile. If you smile at your audience, they are likely to smile back. And a smile engenders good feelings and a true connection — even if the smile is forced, because we are pretty bad at recognizing a fake smile. (This is because when we are forcing a smile, we are still genuinely trying to make a positive connection, so most people will read the nonverbal cue as positive.)
5. Relax
A fake smile is okay. But overwhelming nerves is not. And audience can read uptight pretty clearly, and they don’t like it - it’s not inspiring or trustworthy.
There are lots of ways to get yourself to relax before you connect. One is, of course, to know your material well. But a lot of relaxation is physical, not mental. Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley found that a reliable way to decrease nerves is to have sex before speaking. There are many physical activities that work to decrease the stress of speaking. For example, Ku prepares for a show by jumping up and down for two minutes before she goes on stage.
But what if you do all this and you still don’t connect? Blame it on the audience and try again somewhere else. Because as Ku says, “Some audiences are just not right for you.”
Friday, November 2, 2007
Yahoo column: Five ways to make career change easier
Most of us will change careers at least three times in our lives. And most of us will be nervous at one point or another in the process. Invariably, you’re giving up the known to pursue the unknown. So, even if you hate your current career, it’s still scary to give it up.
I have a lot of experience in this arena. I’ve changed careers a lot, going from professional beach volleyball player to software marketer to entrepreneur to freelance writer. While I was doing that, my husband changed careers three times in five years.
Each change was different and difficult in its own way for both of us. But I’ve learned some tricks along the way to make career changes easier. Go to Yahoo Finance to read five ideas to consider in your own career change.
Here are two of the ideas:
Make the change before you go nuts.Most people hold out in a career until it’s clear that it’s not for them. All change is hard. We like to be stimulated and interested, but most of us don’t like constant change. It’s too stressful, so we find ways to avoid it. The problem is that if you put off change for too long you compromise your ability to orchestrate it. I spent a lot of my career with the bad habit of letting myself bottom out before I made a big change, so take it from me — the change is much harder to manage when you’re operating from a place of desperation and exhaustion.
Keep your significant other in the loop.A career change is so emotionally and financially profound that it’s practically a joint decision if you’re living with a significant other. I learned this the hard way, when my husband changed careers. As a career advisor, I had a lot of opinions about what he should be doing, but I didn’t want to step on his toes so I tried to leave him alone to make the decisions himself. But I started getting nervous about the instability his choices might create.
There’s a definite balance you need to strike between wanting to support your partner in chasing his or her career dreams, and wanting to maintain sanity in the relationship while the chase is on. Keeping your partner in the loop, not just about what you’re doing but also what you’re thinking, can go a long way toward creating a team feeling.
Read the rest at Yahoo Finance.
I have a lot of experience in this arena. I’ve changed careers a lot, going from professional beach volleyball player to software marketer to entrepreneur to freelance writer. While I was doing that, my husband changed careers three times in five years.
Each change was different and difficult in its own way for both of us. But I’ve learned some tricks along the way to make career changes easier. Go to Yahoo Finance to read five ideas to consider in your own career change.
Here are two of the ideas:
Make the change before you go nuts.Most people hold out in a career until it’s clear that it’s not for them. All change is hard. We like to be stimulated and interested, but most of us don’t like constant change. It’s too stressful, so we find ways to avoid it. The problem is that if you put off change for too long you compromise your ability to orchestrate it. I spent a lot of my career with the bad habit of letting myself bottom out before I made a big change, so take it from me — the change is much harder to manage when you’re operating from a place of desperation and exhaustion.
Keep your significant other in the loop.A career change is so emotionally and financially profound that it’s practically a joint decision if you’re living with a significant other. I learned this the hard way, when my husband changed careers. As a career advisor, I had a lot of opinions about what he should be doing, but I didn’t want to step on his toes so I tried to leave him alone to make the decisions himself. But I started getting nervous about the instability his choices might create.
There’s a definite balance you need to strike between wanting to support your partner in chasing his or her career dreams, and wanting to maintain sanity in the relationship while the chase is on. Keeping your partner in the loop, not just about what you’re doing but also what you’re thinking, can go a long way toward creating a team feeling.
Read the rest at Yahoo Finance.
Monday, October 1, 2007
"O' Brother"
O’ Brother…
An older brother is in turmoil right now..
He is 33 years of age…
Sad to realize that he has fallen in a feeling of betrayal again…
I say again because this feeling started in his younger days…
A trauma that is difficult to let go…
And a recent situation has triggered him to fall back in the feeling of being victimized…
But during these moments a lot of things will come as a surprise…
Moments that will become opportunities for my brother and me…
That at these points in our lives, a brother could indeed uplift a brother’s spirit…
Within months of struggles and aches…
Only an hour of lunch between brothers could ease the pain…
With that hour of conversation, my brother is ready to face the world again…
Prepared to triumph and conquer his destiny and the abundance that he deserves…
Ready to challenge his fears and slay the dragons in his mind…
What propelled him to swing to the positive side at such a fast pace?
I have come to realize that there are indeed a lot of changes to the present lives that we hold…
In the norm, we would just ignore and pester each other up…
And that, it is a sign of weakness to allow you to be beaten down by a situation…
However this situation presented us a new fate…
It showed me a chance to kindle a brotherhood that I’ve longed for…
Where rivalries are put aside…
And that just Love and Support could move brethren…
That expressing Love is not at all corny as how we think it is…
Instead Love could give Courage and Hope to the imminent future of our Lives…
It is by Love that we are hurled to the Light, From the Darkness that makes us feeble…
The Happiness that it brought me…
Thank you O’ Brother for this chance…
An older brother is in turmoil right now..
He is 33 years of age…
Sad to realize that he has fallen in a feeling of betrayal again…
I say again because this feeling started in his younger days…
A trauma that is difficult to let go…
And a recent situation has triggered him to fall back in the feeling of being victimized…
But during these moments a lot of things will come as a surprise…
Moments that will become opportunities for my brother and me…
That at these points in our lives, a brother could indeed uplift a brother’s spirit…
Within months of struggles and aches…
Only an hour of lunch between brothers could ease the pain…
With that hour of conversation, my brother is ready to face the world again…
Prepared to triumph and conquer his destiny and the abundance that he deserves…
Ready to challenge his fears and slay the dragons in his mind…
What propelled him to swing to the positive side at such a fast pace?
I have come to realize that there are indeed a lot of changes to the present lives that we hold…
In the norm, we would just ignore and pester each other up…
And that, it is a sign of weakness to allow you to be beaten down by a situation…
However this situation presented us a new fate…
It showed me a chance to kindle a brotherhood that I’ve longed for…
Where rivalries are put aside…
And that just Love and Support could move brethren…
That expressing Love is not at all corny as how we think it is…
Instead Love could give Courage and Hope to the imminent future of our Lives…
It is by Love that we are hurled to the Light, From the Darkness that makes us feeble…
The Happiness that it brought me…
Thank you O’ Brother for this chance…
Sunday, September 30, 2007
"Of Nostalgic 10 Years"
Of Nostalgic 10 Years…
4 April 2007
Four corners of a room with a busy feel
Reminders of triumph of 10 years
Colorful, beautiful and comforting
Wonderful moments frozen by such keepsakes
Mementos smiling back from wooden and steel frames
Of loved ones from the past and the present
However cheerful it should feel
These things just stare
Without a voice, or warmth or scent
Good ‘Ol Silence becoming a gloomy company.
10 years it has been
Of days of struggling and just living
The chosen path endured and achieved
A long way from the innocence departed
And in a waking chance you realize
Important parts of life is put to sacrifice
Wondering where they have gone
Or rather not choosing over them was worthwhile
The value of thy self transformed
In an identity unrecognized
10 years past.
Now being mindful of the precious things
Where shall it lead? 10 years forward...
4 April 2007
Four corners of a room with a busy feel
Reminders of triumph of 10 years
Colorful, beautiful and comforting
Wonderful moments frozen by such keepsakes
Mementos smiling back from wooden and steel frames
Of loved ones from the past and the present
However cheerful it should feel
These things just stare
Without a voice, or warmth or scent
Good ‘Ol Silence becoming a gloomy company.
10 years it has been
Of days of struggling and just living
The chosen path endured and achieved
A long way from the innocence departed
And in a waking chance you realize
Important parts of life is put to sacrifice
Wondering where they have gone
Or rather not choosing over them was worthwhile
The value of thy self transformed
In an identity unrecognized
10 years past.
Now being mindful of the precious things
Where shall it lead? 10 years forward...
Friday, September 7, 2007
FEAR
Those feelings that stop us from doing what we need to do. I’ve plenty of it to be honest with you. My fears come from deep rooted beginnings; and it was molded since I was a child. And I bet you’ll agree. As a child we’ve been programmed to fear a lot of things. And we have been carrying it in our present age right now.
But it makes us wonder why other people can do what we fear to do. How can they act so brave and courageous? What makes them so different from us? Sometimes we just answer like “iba sila sa akin” or “may pera sila kaya ganun.” We just let it go and kill our dreams because we could not face our fears.
But mind you those people who succeed in what they do have experienced the same fears as ours. The only difference is that they chose to face their fear and just go for it. And the fear becomes a feeling of liberation because they triumphed over what they thought was scary.
Fear can be defined as:
Fantasized
Experiences
Appearing
Real
We are in the times where fear is not at all a life-threatening consequence. Unlike millions of years ago where Cro-Magnons treat fear as a signal of threat in their lives like if a saber-tooth tiger is nearby or a wild beast is in front of them. People in this age experience fear and are being triggered by their thought or mind. Mostly we scare ourselves by fantasizing or thinking of the negative results of what we have to do. But fortunately we are also the ones who can put a stop to the fear that we are going through.
We can choose to be sensible. Rather than focusing on our negative imaginations. We can face the actual facts and bring ourselves to a state of clarity and peace. Focus on your intentions when you decide to do things, imagine what you will feel when you accomplish it. It might be frightening but just do it anyway… you’ll never know, you might be great at it!!
Reference: “The Success Principles” by: Jack Canfield
But it makes us wonder why other people can do what we fear to do. How can they act so brave and courageous? What makes them so different from us? Sometimes we just answer like “iba sila sa akin” or “may pera sila kaya ganun.” We just let it go and kill our dreams because we could not face our fears.
But mind you those people who succeed in what they do have experienced the same fears as ours. The only difference is that they chose to face their fear and just go for it. And the fear becomes a feeling of liberation because they triumphed over what they thought was scary.
Fear can be defined as:
Fantasized
Experiences
Appearing
Real
We are in the times where fear is not at all a life-threatening consequence. Unlike millions of years ago where Cro-Magnons treat fear as a signal of threat in their lives like if a saber-tooth tiger is nearby or a wild beast is in front of them. People in this age experience fear and are being triggered by their thought or mind. Mostly we scare ourselves by fantasizing or thinking of the negative results of what we have to do. But fortunately we are also the ones who can put a stop to the fear that we are going through.
We can choose to be sensible. Rather than focusing on our negative imaginations. We can face the actual facts and bring ourselves to a state of clarity and peace. Focus on your intentions when you decide to do things, imagine what you will feel when you accomplish it. It might be frightening but just do it anyway… you’ll never know, you might be great at it!!
Reference: “The Success Principles” by: Jack Canfield
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Is your Job your Passion?
How many of us Pinoys can really say that our Job is our passion? Unfortunately most of us are not really doing what we want to do. We were brought up believing that we can only improve our lives by working in a company that can provide our basic needs. But most of us don’t really Love our Job and just living our daily routine at work to get that paycheck twice a month. At the end of the day, we produce mediocre actions and mediocre results.
Surveys will show that a lot of employees are not really passionate about what they are doing in their everyday work. And if you come to ask them, they are passionate on something else. Isn’t this Self-Deception? We keep doing what we are doing, but in the end it doesn’t give us Happiness. And what does that give you? Burn-Out…
So what’s stopping us from pursuing what we like? Concerns will arise like:
“I don’t have the means to do this.”
“I will have to sacrifice a lot of things.”
“I fear that I will fail.”
“My family will disapprove.”
“I am already comfortable, I cannot let go of it.” Etc. Etc.
Successful people have undergone the same fear and challenges. But what made them successful is that they chose to go beyond those limiting and defeating thoughts. They had focus on doing what makes them happy and what gives them fulfillment in life. Success was just a consequence from their happiness.
Successful people never get tired of doing their job, because it is their source of happiness and reward.
And so stop fooling yourself. Be honest with yourself and find that passion inside of you. Look for the thing that truly gives you fulfillment and happiness. Challenge yourself and believe that you can be successful in that passion as well. You are born to be Great and you deserve all the Greatness in Life!!!
Surveys will show that a lot of employees are not really passionate about what they are doing in their everyday work. And if you come to ask them, they are passionate on something else. Isn’t this Self-Deception? We keep doing what we are doing, but in the end it doesn’t give us Happiness. And what does that give you? Burn-Out…
So what’s stopping us from pursuing what we like? Concerns will arise like:
“I don’t have the means to do this.”
“I will have to sacrifice a lot of things.”
“I fear that I will fail.”
“My family will disapprove.”
“I am already comfortable, I cannot let go of it.” Etc. Etc.
Successful people have undergone the same fear and challenges. But what made them successful is that they chose to go beyond those limiting and defeating thoughts. They had focus on doing what makes them happy and what gives them fulfillment in life. Success was just a consequence from their happiness.
“The Secret to Success in Life is making your vocation your vacation.”
-- Mark Twain
Successful people never get tired of doing their job, because it is their source of happiness and reward.
And so stop fooling yourself. Be honest with yourself and find that passion inside of you. Look for the thing that truly gives you fulfillment and happiness. Challenge yourself and believe that you can be successful in that passion as well. You are born to be Great and you deserve all the Greatness in Life!!!
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints
It has been a long time since a powerful moviebiography has touched my soul. The casting was really magnificent and full of raw emotional power. Robert Downey Jr. is I can say one of the best actors there is in this generation. Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky of Transformers) was at par (if not the best) in the cast as well. Wonderfully written and directed by: Dito Montiel.
Here’s the plot of the story (courtesy of Wikipedia):
Dito (Downey) is a successful writer in Los Angeles. One day, he goes back to visit his childhood home, Astoria, New York
because his father has suddenly become very ill. Memories of his childhood end up in jail or dead - and being swept back to his past in the summer of 1986. His
friends include Laurie (Rosario Dawson), his
childhood sweetheart; Giuseppe, reckless, destructive, and possibly insane; Mike O'Shea, a Scottish boy who dreams of becoming a musician; Nerf, a friend who eventually calls Dito back; and Antonio (Channing Tatum), a confident, volatile boy with an abusive father.
Sometimes we resolve our bad situations by escaping or running away from it. We feel that the only way we can breathe is to go to a new environment and start a new life there. As effective as this would seem, we never really settle the root of the crisis. We may achieve great success and betterment in our lives but deep down inside there are wounds that has been killing us for a long time already and have been carrying for so many years.
“Sometimes the only way to move forward is to go Back.”
That was the tagline of the movie. Simple and straight. I guess why the movie struck me so much is that I have been in the same state of mind before, and the only way I really rose from my grave wounds and hurts was to truly embrace and face my deep rooted pains.
And so I courageously faced my demons and dragons. I settled the score with my dad and relatives. Found my peace again with my long time friends. But most importantly I forgave myself and found myself whole again.
Let me have this opportunity to say thank you to my living saints, my Dad, (my Mom, who is having a blast now with God J the true saint for me), my great siblings and wonderful nephews, and my wonderful friends. You have been a source of inspiration and a good reason for living… Life is indeed damn Great!!!
Here’s the plot of the story (courtesy of Wikipedia):
Dito (Downey) is a successful writer in Los Angeles. One day, he goes back to visit his childhood home, Astoria, New York
because his father has suddenly become very ill. Memories of his childhood end up in jail or dead - and being swept back to his past in the summer of 1986. His
friends include Laurie (Rosario Dawson), his
childhood sweetheart; Giuseppe, reckless, destructive, and possibly insane; Mike O'Shea, a Scottish boy who dreams of becoming a musician; Nerf, a friend who eventually calls Dito back; and Antonio (Channing Tatum), a confident, volatile boy with an abusive father.
Sometimes we resolve our bad situations by escaping or running away from it. We feel that the only way we can breathe is to go to a new environment and start a new life there. As effective as this would seem, we never really settle the root of the crisis. We may achieve great success and betterment in our lives but deep down inside there are wounds that has been killing us for a long time already and have been carrying for so many years.
“Sometimes the only way to move forward is to go Back.”
That was the tagline of the movie. Simple and straight. I guess why the movie struck me so much is that I have been in the same state of mind before, and the only way I really rose from my grave wounds and hurts was to truly embrace and face my deep rooted pains.
And so I courageously faced my demons and dragons. I settled the score with my dad and relatives. Found my peace again with my long time friends. But most importantly I forgave myself and found myself whole again.
Let me have this opportunity to say thank you to my living saints, my Dad, (my Mom, who is having a blast now with God J the true saint for me), my great siblings and wonderful nephews, and my wonderful friends. You have been a source of inspiration and a good reason for living… Life is indeed damn Great!!!
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