NANAY

NANAY
An Accolade


By: Bads Encarnacion

July 22, 2005
9:30 PM




…I am looking at my wristwatch and read 8:00 PM. Today would seem a very joyful night for me. Familiar faces are surrounding me, dancing, conversing and having their drinks. The music is loud; it’s keeping the cheerfulness in the air. The food is prepared on the table; it appeared that those were my favorites. And I was sitting at the far end of this Victorian triple-seater sofa; on my right hand is a glass of my favorite wine. My left arm is rested on my lap. I kept staring and staring at my wristwatch. My mind slowly wandered and began to remember significant parts of my life. I closed my eyes. Vividly the past played at my sight…




August 28, 1983. Sunday 6:00 in the morning… I was still in deep slumber below a double-decked bed frame, while my sister Jennifer at the top still awfully sound asleep to boot. I thought I dreamt someone enter our room, and faintly felt this person sat beside me on my bed. A blinding shadow is now blocking my face from the pale nightlight. I felt a soft and gentle hand brush my hair, caressing my head like the touch of an angel. Suddenly, I felt that affectionate and loving kiss on my forehead. A whisper has awakened me, uttering the words… “Happy Birthday Jon-Jon… you’re six years old now…” I opened my eyes with delight, to relish in rousing beside my “Nanay.”

It’s my birthday today; I am 6 years old now! Excited and eager to find out what’s in store for me in my grand day. Especially cheery, to see the first person at the start of the morning is the face of my mother. Though it seems my mum is as jovial as I am today, I vaguely discerned that elated yet poignant gaze. It was a happy but concerned look. After a minute or two of stares, I happily and animatedly asked her “what are we preparing today? And oh, do I have a present already? Oh, it must be under the blankets!” As I was rummaging under and around the blanket and finding only my bed sheets, my eyes were again focused to my mum’s face. I, Having that jolly feeling and big smile still, but my mum’s gaze have lost its cheerfulness… it’s as if she’s trying to remain in that cheerful state but the look of pity can’t help but linger. Until she tried to utter words, but you can notice that it pains her. She said in a faint smile; “I’m sorry anak but we don’t have enough money right now, I’m afraid we cannot celebrate your birthday today.” Swiftly the brightness on my face has turned to gloom. I attempted to ask why but becoming aware of my mother’s eyes slowly evident with tears, I was kept still in hush. Slowly sadness has filled my face. My mother looked as if powerless and can’t do anything but hold me in her arms. And then silence befell us. Tears are slowly falling from my eyes, while my head is buried on her arms. I could feel she wanted to try to explain. To let my innocent mind understand my family’s situation, but instead she just said “Nanay needs to go to work now anak...” I was still teary eyed and could hear nothing but sniffs from my nose. She hugged me again but now it was a bit stronger than the first. She bid me farewell and gave that goodbye kiss. My mother closed the door with sorrow in her heart. I heard her come out of the house. I was left in my bed and did not know what to think about.

It was 10:00 in the morning and I was sitting on the floor. I am in front of the TV and have been staring at it the whole morning. Watching morning cartoons while my siblings were outside playing with the neighbors’ kids. I heard keys clinking outside trying to open the main door. Then suddenly a familiar face has entered the house. Much to my surprise it was Nanay who opened the door. I was still sitting still and did not spoke a word while looking at her, wondering why she is back so soon. Then she mentioned very merrily, “Let’s get you into some nice clothes because you and I are going out.” Her enthusiasm was so contagious that it affected me to be as excited as her immediately. She picked the clothes for me and helped me put them on. She told me “Anak, do you know that Jollibee opened up a few weeks ago?” My eyes widened and a big smile had swiftly crammed my face. “How would you like to go there?” she asked. The bliss I’ve experienced early this morning had returned so fast. I was totally surprised, and answered by bobbing my head up and down. My Nanay apparently was able to borrow money from a friend to help her with today. After dressing up, Nanay and I went out, rode a jeep and straight to Jollibee. The restaurant was startlingly packed. It was a new restaurant, and its Baguio’s first taste of this famous restaurant, especially popular with kids my age. I feared of not being able to enter through the crowd, and not be able to have a table for my mother and I. I felt the pull of my mother’s hand, heaving her body and squeezing through the crowd while I was holding so tight following her path. After some tough searching and waiting for a table to be freed. She managed to find a small table just right for the both of us. She instructed me to sit still and not let anyone take our seats. I worriedly obliged. I was uncomfortably waiting for Nanay to get back and scared to be lost in the crowd, but the feeling that I was in Jollibee made my uncertainties go away. Then she finally came, I was again wearing that big smile when I caught a glimpse of my Nanay coming out from the crowd. She was holding a tray full of things. I can see that she is having a hard time not to tilt the tray so that the food won’t fall. The crowd was making the way a challenge but she still managed to go through them. At last she is standing in front of our table. She ordered chicken, some burgers and fries. She Put it on the table and sat in front of me. I hurriedly grabbed a bite at the fried chicken and the French fries. I thought it was the best fries I ever tasted. While in my glee of eating the best food I’ve ever tasted in my life, Nanay can’t help but put a satisfied smile. Her smile broke a giggle and I laughed along with my mouth stuffed with chicken. She was happy to see me pleased for the food that she ordered. I was eating like I have been hungry all my life. I almost gorged all the food in the table, and then she suddenly went through her bag. She brought out a small box and then placed it on the table. My mother seized my hands and wiped its grubbiness. She handed me a long rectangular box, and helped me open it. My eyes turned rounder than usual and can’t help but cry out the word “Yehey!!” It was an “Astroboy” wristwatch. He was my favorite cartoon and having him on my wrist was I thought the finest thing a boy could ever have. My Nanay helped me to put it on my right arm, and uttered the words: “Happy Birthday Anak!” …It was the best birthday I could ever have. I was sure I would remember this moment forever…



… In a state of distress while down on my knees with a plinth that supported them. I was intently glaring at a huge wooden cross with a life-sized carving of Jesus Christ. My mind is jaded while I stare in this statuesque figure. Struggling with an irresolute thinking, I was having a hard time trying to articulate the agony in my heart. Resentment and plea for mercy is running inside of me. After an hours’ time, I would not be able to muster a complete prayer. There I was in silence… Tears are now breaking from my eyes.. I can always prevent a cry but this gush of tears was uncontrollable. Then finally the sobs broke the peace of the chapel. The pain inside of me is overwhelming; I could not help but cry out the ache. Still uncertain of what to say to the lord, I just managed to speak the words “Please do not take her. Please do not take her. Please do not take her…”

It’s December 13, 1994. 11:30 in the morning. I am sixteen years old now… Christmas is nearing, this would become the most unforgettable Christmas of my life.

I am standing at a hallway; it seems to be a very busy but depressing and painstaking place. Much of the people here are wearing a sad face. A lady 10 feet away from me is crying and delirious with what seem to be an unaccepted fact for her, a man is hugging him and appeared to be holding on a very loud cry. While on the other side, another man is sitting on a bench, looking very intently at the floor. Unaffected of what is happening around him. I can’t stand to be in this place. It’s full of misery, full of agony. But these people would not matter to me now; this place is the least of my priorities now. I have a more important matter to attend to…

In front of me is a 2 door-room. The doors were locked and there are strict policies for letting people in. I knocked a couple of times… A girl with a white gown opened the door from behind. She seems to have seen a familiar face when she opened the door. The nurse recognized me immediately. Wearing that pitiful smile on her face, she directed me to go in immediately. The room was white and clean, positioned with four beds. There is a man rested on the first bed just a few steps away from the door. The man appeared to be in his seventies and was oddly sick. While the 2nd bed was not occupied, another man on the 3rd bed is sleeping with some sort of mask on his face. It appears that it was an oxygen mask, and the man was having trouble in breathing from the way I see it. While it seems to be a safe place and that absolute care is given, the stench of the room would haunt me forever. It was the “Intensive Care Unit” of the Saint Louis Sacred Heart Hospital. And there was my mother peacefully sleeping on the fourth bed beside the window…

I closely sat beside her and caressed her hair. In an instant it woke her. She tried to open her eyes but immediately closed them again. She had that happy smile and murmured, “Hi Anak.” I replied back and gave her that loving kiss in the forehead. It was 10 years ago when I remembered having that affectionate kiss, and now I have the chance to return it to her. “Nay its time for lunch!” I smilingly uttered. I gently pulled up the hospital bed to let her sit, and prepare her to eat. Suddenly I noticed that she is still closing her eyes. I asked her what’s wrong, and she mentioned “Anak I can’t fully open my eyes, because when I do I get dizzy and my view is spinning.” It appears my Mother wasn’t really asleep when I arrived but needed to close her eyes to not worsen how she feels. It was a heartbreaking experience for me again to know this fact. Just yesterday she can look straight to my face and see how her eyes can express her emotions without even speaking a word to say. She was better yesterday. And now it seems she’s not getting well enough. More so it’s hard to understand that it has become worse. However, I couldn’t let my mother see me sad with her condition. Not even see me cry in front of her. I’d like to make her happy and take care of her while she is in this state. I couldn’t think of anything to say but “That’s okay! Let’s get you something to eat so you’d feel better!” So I told her. My mother smiled and obligingly followed my lead while I was giving and putting the “lugaw” in her mouth. After a few bite, my mother told me “it’s enough.” She didn’t have the appetite to eat because her sense of taste deteriorated as well. But I was persistent and mentioned that she needed to eat more, for her to feel better fast. I was overly willing to give her more. But she can’t take them anymore. And so I put down the bowl I was holding on the table. Grabbed a napkin and wiped my mother’s mouth. I gave her some water and then asked if she wanted some more. She refused to take more water and motioned that she’s fine. I asked her if she wants to go back to rest, but instead she just asked me some questions which would give an impression that it is important for her to know. She held my hand and asked how I am doing, and how my Ate and Kuyas and Tatay are taking her situation.

I was taken aback and had difficulty to answer that question in an instant. My mind remained blank for a moment, and thought of how best to respond to her. I couldn’t tell her the truth, how devastating this is for us. I could not tell her how affected we are. That it is exam week already and all of us cannot focus right now. The desolation that we feel inside our home. A grieving home which could not be denied in each one of us. The restlessness that keeps us in our most miserable moments. Of me being aware that my father is weary and is close to breakdown. Each one of my siblings trying to get by and are fighting their own woes… It has been 3 weeks already since my Mum was brought to this hospital. The longest month of my family. But I could not tell her all this. I refuse to add up any pain and suffering she is going through right now. I want to make things better for her. I have to make it seem like everything is all right. That we are all waiting for her to go back home and be with her again. And how we miss her a lot. For this reason, I told her that everything is fine and we are all doing okay. That she keeps fighting for this illness and to be healthy again so she could go back to the comforts of our home… She responded with a faint smile and with teary eyes. Still holding my hand, she directed me towards her to give that tender hug. I motioned towards her and responded with a strong but sweet hug. After a moment of that, I gave her another fond kiss in the forehead.

Then there it was, the “request” from her that I am bound to fulfill for the rest of my life. While holding her hands and she facing me with tears, she voiced; “Anak Mahal na mahal ka ng Nanay. When nanay is gone, I’d like you to still graduate from college, because anak that will be the only thing I can leave you with. Please promise me whatever happens you will not let your education suffer. That is the only way for you to have a better life. Please promise me this even if I am not here. I want to see the day you graduate but I’m sorry if I won’t be there Anak.” Tears are flowing in her eyes but with a very sweet smile. I was left stunned and cannot utter a word immediately. I refused the thought of losing her. Denied that she will leave us. I always thought that my college graduation will be my greatest gift to her. But what will be its importance if she will not be there to witness it. Who will be my motivation to get high grades? To whom will I show my accomplishments in my studies? I felt weak… But I still assured her that that’s not going to happen. She will survive this and she will get well. Or so I thought, it seemed I was reassuring myself.

I had the courage to say my optimism to her. That she will get better. We will leave this hospital and go back in our home. Everything will go back to the way it used to be. She will still caress my hair and I’d sleep on her lap. She will cook my favorite tinola and sinigang; bring home tocino and gorge it with my brothers while my sister is left with a few. She will go with me to shop for new shoes and clothes before Christmas. She will still watch her sons’ basketball game. Do laundry and clean the house with her. Water the plants that we grew and observe them bloom. We will watch our favorite TV programs. I will accompany her watch Sharon Cuneta movies. We will dance and sing during Saturdays. We will have Sunday picnics… She will greet me Happy Birthday, and give that kiss in the forehead. She will witness my accomplishments. She will be there for my graduation day…

My reply was returned with a kiss. She sighed and seems tired. I needed to return to my next class, and so I thought of putting her off to sleep before leaving the room. She seemed to be resting now, and I didn’t want to wake her anymore when I leave. I inaudibly left her side and went to the door. At the doorway, I looked back. My mum tilted her head towards me and tried looking at my way but she can’t open her eyes. Her face, eyes closed was at the direction of the door now, having a very faint smile. I was momentarily standing and holding the door ajar. Looking at her face still, until the nurse instructed me that we needed to close the door now. It was hurting me to leave my mum. The ache inside of me has left me standing from the door. I ran back towards her, gave her that one last embrace and kissed her goodbye. I whispered, “I’ll be back Nay, Mahal na Mahal po Kita…”





…Graduation day came. It was a wonderful feeling to have accomplished my goal as a student. Most especially proud and in high spirits that I got a distinguished appreciation for the thesis I have completed. Though confronted with enormous challenges during my student life, I was able to pull it off. I can’t wait to tell my Nanay that we are successful. Show her that everything has paid off. For her to be proud to know that her son got one of the highest achievements for the most important trial in being an IT student, our thesis. Tell her to celebrate with me now that it’s over at last. I thought I’d bring her flowers to celebrate, but most importantly present her my diploma to prove that I am ready to face another new life…

Today my batch mates will march at the school’s graduation venue, together with their families and the whole lot of them to celebrate. Indeed, a very joyful moment for all of us. They rented togas and bought swanky clothes for this special event. Even went to the salon to fix their selves up. During this hour each of our names are probably being called already. They might be surprised when they call out my name and I wouldn’t be there to go to the stage. I’ve decided not to join them. I thought I would rather celebrate this event with the person whom I made a “promise” to accomplish this feat. I begged the school to allow me this. To handover my diploma so I could show it to my mother. The school was sympathetic enough to agree with my request.

I was sitting in a white platform; on the right hand I held the flowers I bought and on the left is my rolled-up diploma. I was surrounded by wild grasses and sunflowers that still bloomed during this time but most of it dried up already. It usually is during this time of the year. They’ve always kept me company during these times. It was a huge mountain; piled and surrounded by white platforms. You can see small crosses, and statues of holies and angels. I’ve gotten used to this place already. Its steep walkways and the gates that you have to pass through. Most people would not go to this place alone. A lot of stories have been told with the horrors that happen to this place. But I never felt or see any of the scary things that they talk about. I frequent this place whenever I feel like going here to visit a special person, especially during the 1st of November.

I was sitting in front of my Nanay’s grave. Four years have passed and until now I still can’t believe that she’s underneath it.

I laid down the flowers on top of her grave. This bittersweet moment could only make me weep and smile at the same time. I opened up my diploma and literally showing it towards her. I told her excitedly “See Nay? My name is on it!” I started talking like she was alive at my side. I was speaking aloud and told her stories about my defense for the thesis. How mean and cynical the panel of professors are, and how some of the government employees were pessimistic on the system that we’ve developed. I especially told her about this lady who doesn’t understand what we are talking about and how it’s making her look stupid. She was mocking our defense and became furious already because it seems her comments are ridiculous. I even told her as well that I needed to work hard again at McDonald’s. I needed to extend my shifts from 10:00 in the morning up to 8:00PM so I could come up with the Finals’ tuition fee. But that doesn’t matter anymore, everything is done! I’ve passed!!! I cheerfully elaborated my happiness and went on and on…

After some time, my enthusiasm has reached its halt. I do not have anything left to tell her anymore. There was silence in the graveyard again. The wind is blowing. The roses’ petals were dancing with the wind. It was a very cool breeze. The wind touches my face with that calming feel. I was appreciating its cooling effect, but then it is slowly making me cold. Sadness is slowly filling up my heart… I unhurriedly rolled up the paper in my hand. Held it close to my heart. I began to gaze at the flowers. I kept staring and have been silent for awhile now. Suddenly, there was this one thing I wanted to say but couldn’t express them. It keeps repeating in my mind. I desired and thought; “I wish you were here… I wish you were… I wish you were…”





…I opened my eyes… My eyes focused again on my watch. I am looking at my wristwatch and it now read 8:15 PM. It’s August 28, 2004 today. I’m amazed at this new watch of mine. This watch is entirely silver and is shining admirably. Though it has small scratches already, it glimmers elegantly. It has some thingamajigs in it which until now I can’t seem to understand what it is for. Anyway, it does add to the aesthetics of the watch that makes it look grander. Can’t help but be happy having it especially knowing that I bought it at a bargain price. It always makes me feel good whenever I have a new watch. I have this fascination with wristwatches now. The vanity of collecting wristwatches and not be satisfied with one, has always been a puzzle in my mind. Still admiring the watch, I unexpectedly wondered about something. I suddenly missed the first watch I had. I can’t recall whatever happened to my astroboy watch. It’s been 20 years now since I had my first watch, the first gift that made a big impact in my life. It felt great turning 27 years old today. I marveled, is it because of this new watch?

I’m celebrating with my close friends right now, the second family I have come to gain. Very pleased to be with them and celebrate this birthday. I have come to love them like I would my brothers and sisters. We’ve been friends for more than a decade already. They’ve been a great support for all the awful things that I have been through. They always did make my birthdays worthwhile. But it seems this birthday is much different than the previous ones. The nostalgia of missing my mother is more immense on this birthday. Not that I’m avoiding it, but I am actually happy to feel this way. It’s been a long time already since I’ve felt melancholic of the loss. I have moved on and because of the pain from losing her, it made me a stronger person. Her death gave me a lot of realizations in my life. How it made me become a better person. To deal with the pain of the loss, but at the same time keeping the promise that I have made. It was the most sorrowful and greatest lesson in my life, but most especially it has taught me to become a survivor…

My career is starting to rocket up. I am working as a professional consultant now. This job and the corporate world have given me a lot of learning and have improved my life immensely. I’ve worked with a couple of companies since my graduation, four companies to be exact. Each giving me the knowledge I have to gain and teaching me the skills that I need. Job experiences that are preparing me for something better. Molding me to attain the position that I desire and working hard to attain. Though it may seem that my stint in every company is moot, I never burnt any bridge with my employers. In fact I was able to establish a good relationship with them until now. Well with my previous bosses and colleagues anyway. I know someday I will be able to work with these magnificent people again someday. Or probably become my business partners in the future. Things have been great for me and I am blessed with every job I take. I am gaining a lot and it has been a great support for the lifestyle that I am living now. Though it does feel somehow that I cannot afford myself anymore, well it happens sometimes… Anyhow, I could get by every time a new day comes. I could even help a loved one in dire strait. I would like to believe that I have been successful in this early age. There may be times when I question if this is what I really want to do in life, or if this is going to be the fate that I am bound to take for the rest of my life. But then again, I have grown to love my job and realize how it is helping me a lot. Not only with the status of my life right now but my being as a whole. Need less to say, I have learned to balance my life. I am able to constantly improve my skills for my job and still explore my artistic side. Even with a hectic schedule, I am able now to continue my painting and writing which I’ve always loved to do… These successes made me realize that I am of value to this world. But I have always been wondering if the person I offer all of this to is smiling out there, and happy where I am right now…



I am sure she is…

Wherever you are Nanay, The dreams realized in this life I have determined to live, the glory is yours as much as with mine, for without the Love and guidance that you have given me, I would have never grasped the beauty of “life,” this gift that I will treasure until the time that God decides to take it back and be with you again…


Dedicated to:
Lolita U. Encarnacion
November 11, 1949 – December 24, 1994

Is it time to quit your job?

From BRAZEN CAREERIST:

How to tell when you should leave your job is actually very simple: If your boss loves you, stay. If your boss does not love you, assess where you went wrong, and decide if you can fix it. If not, it’s quitting time.

The problem is that most people take very little responsibility for making their boss love them. Which, in turn complicates the decision about staying or leaving. Your number one task in a job is to get your boss to love you.

This means that you find out what your boss cares about, how your boss likes to communicate, what scares your boss, and how you can help. Of course, your career goal is not to help your boss. But if you boss loves you then he or she will help you to meet your career goals.
Here are common problems people have at work: Boring assignments, inflexible schedules, no recognition, too much red tape, no upward mobility. But these are all problems that disappear when your boss loves you. When your boss loves you she helps you figure out how to get around this stuff. When your boss loves you she’s like a teammate, trying to help you get what you want for your career.

But this should come as no surprise because the way to get your boss to love you is to worry about your boss’ career. See your boss’ roadblocks and get them out of the way. Understand your boss’ dreams and make it your job to facilitate them. Put aside your idea of your job description and just focus on what will help your boss.

How do you do this? Here are six steps:

1. Attend to detail. The details of your boss. You should be sure to learn something about your boss from every exchange you have. If you do not learn from the exchanges then there is probably little depth to your conversations, and that is the first step to a vacuous relationship.

2. Make each conversation meaningful. You can infuse meaning into your conversations with your boss by probing a little bit each time about what your boss cares about. Why is he or she rushed today? Or, by the way, what is the big deadline that consumed all of last week? Even something as basic as “How was your weekend?” is a fine way to learn something about the boss.

3. Listen to gossip. You can learn about your boss from watching him deal with other employees. Listen carefully to what co-workers say about your boss. Whether it’s true or not is secondary to how your boss is perceived in the ranks. The more you know about your boss the more you can cater to her.

4. Express gratitude. If you let your boss know what you appreciate about her, she’ll open up to you more because you will feel safe. For example, you can thank her for steering you away from a mine field in the marketing department. Or you can tell her you appreciate how well she did during a difficult moment in a meeting. Be specific and she will be flattered and touched. That will create a connection you need to understand your boss better.

5. Get over your shyness. Because if you are too timid to initiate conversation then you will not get to know your boss enough to make your boss love you. To get yourself talking, remind yourself that everyone wants to feel cared about. It’s hard to manage people because it means caring a lot about other people and it’s pretty one-sided. A manager will be thrilled to hear that a direct report cares about him.

6. Identify the culprit. Take a look at your track record. Have most of your bosses loved you but one doesn’t? Then it’s probably not all your fault. But most people who are not loved by their bosses were never loved by their bosses. And most people who are a pain are a pain in similar ways in all of their jobs.


So instead of focusing on why your boss is difficult, focus on what is keeping you from being loveable. It’ll be worth it. But you will find that the rewards of being loved by a boss are almost endless. Most importantly, you will like yourself better and you will love your job.

THIS IS ENGLAND

A film by British Director Shane Meadows; it brings us to the soulful blast from the past in the year of 1983. Where flannel shirts and doc martens were the fashion trend during that decade and would influence the adolescent time in the 90’s. The story is about another coming of age; it imbibes the feeling of searching and having the identity of how we were as teens. It is about the Joy of belongingness and the bliss of acceptance from a group where we can just discover and be ourselves.

The story revolves around Shaun, a young adolescent, temperamental and quick with his fists. A poignant young boy who lives with his mom and been suffering the loneliness with the recent loss of his father. At school he gets bullied because of his bell-bottom trousers(where it was given to him as a gift from his dad) and how he looks indifferent from the outfits of the youth. Along his way home, he stumbles to the gang of Woody played by Joe Gilgun, and eventually finds a bond with them.

The nonchalance of the gang would make you feel amiss of your youth, where being free-spirited and carefree without responsibility has brought you thrill and pleasure. It has brought me memories of my younger days and wonder about the bestfriends I had back then.

Anyhow, the Love and friendship of the gang has brought young Shaun elation to the new environment he lives in. First experiences in choosing the shoes that he wanted has also been exemplified hilariously, that to also fit in to the ways of how the gang dresses up. Amusingly as well the gang gives him his first flannel shirt to match with his doc marten imitation shoes. Now Shaun really is one of the gang.

Just as you’d think that the movie is about teens living their confused lives, a heavy twist and situation will augment to the drama of the movie. This is England also showcases the political situation during that time and demonstrates how the youth lost their way due to the insistent political bigotry in England. The brotherhood would then be tested and new idealisms will set them apart. This becomes the main conflict of the initial happy story; A clear and magnificent representation of the effect of the Falklands War to the youth of England.

The movie is set in the East Midlands in England’s midsection, where the director was born and spent his early adolescence. Written by Mr. Meadows as well, the movie becomes an autobiographical inspiration and his reverence to the world that he lived in adrift by its political turmoil. However what made this a sentimental movie for me is the grief of its young characters for their dreams, the pleasures of their youth and their passionate camaraderie…

SAGADA: A Community of Love

I’ve always been known to my friends as the Baguio boy, obviously I grew up in Baguio so that makes me the guy from the mountains. I’ve been asked if I wore the “bahag” and if I’ve been walking with bare feet when I lived there. And of course if I was one of the “Igorots” who’d charge every tourist with every picture taken with me at the “Imelda Marcos Park.” I would always tell them YES, and that I am a member of the headhunter tribe, and will always ask them “so would you like a try of my Axe?” … and immediately they’ll run for their lives…

Now I’ve been living in Makati and have been a corporate slave for more than a decade now. My Manileno friends have always been interested to plan a trip to Sagada in the Mountain Province. They’d always ask me How it is there and if Marijuana really is just a plain bush in that place, that it is planted just at the backyard of every household. I’d always respond with a Big and Wide Smile and tell them “Malay KO!”

They’d act all surprised and give a marvelous remark that goes “ANO?!? TAGA BAGUIO KA AT HINDE KA PA NAKAKAPUNTA NG SAGADA?!?!?!” and i’d shy away and say ”OO eh..” ..sniff... wawah…

And yes, it is true, a lot of us who’ve lived in Baguio never really reached Sagada given that it is just a 6 hour ride from Baguio. And so I’ve committed myself this year to plan a trip to Sagada. Been asking friends who could join me but everybody seemed so busy and that the schedule I was looking at did not fit theirs. But what the heck, if they can’t join me then I’ll go on my own.. arggh loner daw ako sabe nila.. So anyway, there I was, packed my bags, hit Victory Liner and on my way to Baguio. Stopped over at my brother’s place to sleep then hit Sagada first thing in the morning.

My brother Gene asked me what I was doing back home and “bakit daw nangangati na naman ang paa ko.” And so me being my usual self told him about my plans for Sagada animatedly and ayun nainggit at sumama sa akin. Yippee!!! Not going there alone no more...

So we rode Lizardo Bus Lines and straight to Sagada. View was magnificent, air was cool, or should I say cold. Still lots of trees and looking down from the window would give you a nauseous feel. My stomach felt a triple somersault and waiting a puke to come out. And so took hold of myself and just looked at the View of the mountains, clouds and trees. Ahhh.. beauty at its best. Luckily the road has been and being concretized completely, so the road wasn’t that bad anymore as with the stories told before.

On the way to Sagada, you’d see a lot of towns that you’d think you’re not in the Philippines anymore because everyone’s wearing jackets or thick clothes. The bus needed not airconditioning coz the breeze was that cold. I felt the happiness and missed this setting; realized I’ve been living in the busy city of Metro Manila for such a long time now.

We reached Sagada, thanks to my friend Tracey for the endorsement of a good place to stay and finding out that its just stairs away from the bus stop. The ride was a tiring one with bumps, humps and the zigzag road that we went through. And so thought of resting a bit before anything else; but my brother being the excited one was so active and wanted to be on the move immediately. With a tired body and a sore butt, I’ve just said yes and okay okay.. We went to the restaurant of Saint Joseph’s resthouse first before we move and ordered for dinuguan, Sagada style.. YUM!! While eating, asked and bought a map to plan and check out what we can do. We were on a rush because we just planned to stay overnight.

And so there we went.. the hanging coffins, the small restos, the church. I’ve also realized that why I feel so at home at Sagada, its because it reminded me of Baguio 20 years ago. Where there were less residents and cars, less pollution and more trees. It really felt like a good escape from the traffic and the tall buildings of Manila.

Been imagining a relaxed vacation in Sagada and thought of just enjoying the cool weather, but with all the activities we did, I felt so dead tired. And so after hours of walking we decided to go back to the hostel and get ready for dinner. After eating, got a good massage. After which forced myself to sleep coz my brother’s planning for another endless walking to the caves. So morning came, we headed to the caves, equipped with just cameras and just attitude we reached the cave and surprise!! We couldn’t see a thing inside the cave! Hahaha turns out you’d really need a guide to tour you inside and ensure your safety.

So we called it quits and just decided we can always go back the next time. Rushed back to the hostel and fixed and packed our things. Went down to the bus stop to get in on time. but lo and behold, rain started pouring and apparently a storm is about to hit Sagada.

This is the time where mixed emotions enfolded my being…

At the bus stop a lot of tourists and locals were lined up waiting for the bus. The bus was scheduled to depart by 1:00 PM, reason why we woke up early in the morning and wanted to maximize our vacation in Sagada. At the bus stop was a hodgepodge of personalities. You’d see a lot of tourists from Manila, Caucasians from different part of the world, a group of (mountain) bikers who daringly climbed up the peaks of Mountain Province and a set of family…

After 2 hours and hitting 3PM, everyone’s becoming anxious with the late arrival of the bus. Rain was still pouring gently and we were cramped up in a small waiting shed. I myself became very anxious, thinking of my commitment at work and other meetings set for Monday. At this time, lots of versions of news about the bus arriving or not was spreading to the lot of stranded people. One thing I noticed is the optimism of the people that the bus would indeed arrive and is just taking long because of the rain. And so, we patiently wait and just enjoyed the coldness of the rain. Apparently, we all just wanted to go home and get on with our businesses.

My friend Tracey arrived now at Sagada and we were laughing our hearts out coz with all the goodbyes and take cares that we’ve said to each other before this situation. We thought we wouldn’t see each other anymore because of the different schedules we have. And so we just talked, told stories to make us more laugh and after an hour she decided to take a rest coz of the tiring trip as well. Again we bid farewell and patiently waited for the bus again.

After some time, the rain poured out stronger and I felt a little worried already. News about the bus arriving stayed the same, and wow these people are really patient and having a very relaxed time. But me, I was kind of worried about the road and if it will be safe to travel at night. And so I couldn’t wait any longer. I’ve intended to look for a more reliable source for news. Luckily the tourism information is very near the bus stop.
I spoke in the local dialect with the information lady and she validated my concerns about the bus and the road having landslides already.

A bit more worried now.. Thinking how to go about this and what will be the detriments with this delay. But then again safety is always a priority, and so I finally decided to stay another night and just wait for the storm to clear. Spoke with my brother Gene and discussed the situation. He was convinced and agreed to stay another night. But then I saw the number of stranded people. Got worried about them as well, especially one of the families that I had a conversation with while waiting. The bikers were apparently my brother’s officemate as well and got concerns about their safety too if they push through with the trip.

And so I spoke to the family and told them about the information I got from the tourism office. That the bus will not arrive any longer and there are apparent landslides in the road. They understood my concern and thought otherwise should they push through. We spoke to the group of Barakos and suggested options as well. But they were still very optimistic and that the storm is not near Sagada yet. One guy mentioned that it is still safe to travel coz should there be a landslide a boulder truck will be on the way to clear the road(talk about optimism ey?!) Wanted to argue about it coz does he really think that the driver of that boulder truck would risk his life with the storm and slippery road? So we left them at their stance and my brother and I decided to go back to Saint Joseph resthouse to get a cheaper room and just have a good rest…

I never anticipated that this situation would be the highlight of my Sagada trip…

It was a good time to rest, but I was still bothered with the documents that I need to send to my boss and colleagues back in the office. So decided to make the most of my time, went to the restaurant, ordered for coffee and scuttled my fingers across my laptop. Surprisingly, the people I saw who were stranded with me entered the restaurant. Apparently, a bus indeed arrived but refused to take the trip back to baguio coz of the heavy rain and safety to the least. And so obviously the people then decided to stay another night.

I was greeted with lovely smiles when the people entered; it was like an unspoken appreciation for the care that I’ve expressed to them earlier. The father then approached me and explained about the bus that arrived and gave me tips on how to get the early bus the next morning. Other guys we’re looking at me and also smiling back, one guy shouted tama na trabaho, pahinga na muna!! I said I just need to finish this for me to send it tonight. It felt like we’ve known each other for years already..

Finished my presentation material and the reports I prepared. One thing more to worry about is how to send it; there are internet shops outside the resthouse so it made me a little calmed down. It was 9:00 PM already and saved my files to my USB drive, so went back to the room, leaving my laptop and rushing back out to look for that internet shop. My brother Gene and Tracey were in front of the fireplace already warming themselves up together with the manongs who’re renovating the Saint Joseph Main Hostel. Said hi to everybody and rushed out.

Anxiety faded as foreseen with the counter measure I planned, it will surprise me to find out another thing about Sagada. Apparently this place closes business very early! When 8:30 PM hits all shops closes … Arrgggghhh! There goes my intention of still being responsible to the eyes of my Boss! One sari-sari store was open though, and expectedly it was also a place where Lakays and Tanggeros do their drinking sessions.. just bought cinnamon bread and a pack of cigarettes then went out to smoke a stick.

While smoking, this wonderful guy approached me. He thought all the while that I was a Manilenio tourist. He spoke in English and talking about pride and funny stories about Sagada, JAMAICAN style! Hahaha. Thought to myself that this could be a fun night. So I let him be, me responding in English with my American accent. After some time of doobie conversation, thought this is a fun night indeed.. Then he invited me to take one shot of their Gin, coz he said that it was the culture of Sagada hence tourists should follow the same. That moment I didn’t have any plans to drink yet becoz I was so occupied with finding an internet. So to cut the story short, I spoke in Ilokano and told him I’m from Baguio. To his surprise he also went and talk the dialect, and finding out that he is originally from there as well. Suddenly I missed the Jamaican Accent… He pointed me to possible shops still open but unfortunately all of them followed the 8:30 curfew. Oh his name is Orion by the way.. Groovy..

I was so wet and tired looking for internet shops, even with the pouring rain I wasn’t spared of that endless walking. Decided to go back the Hostel, dried myself up and joined my brother at the fire place. Took my bonnet and sweatshirt and placed it near the fireplace to dry it up. Meanwhile Tracey joined us while waiting for the water to boil for her bath. No hotshowers in the resthouse during that time and I wouldn’t risk myself taking a bath either with the cold water.. you wouldn’t want your heart jumping out of your mouth would you?


There with us at the fireplace is also Mariz, we met here a day ago at the resthouse and she have traveled Sagada to rest from the busy and tiring work at the same time nourish her soul with what Sagada can offer as a refuge. Like Tracey, my brother and I have said goodbyes to her but we end up sharing the fire with her. The four of us were enjoying the fire with the Manongs who did a good job at the renovation; can’t wait to go back actually and spend time at one of the rooms in the new Hostel. Mariz apparently took one of the seminars, where my brother and I, and Tracey took too. Most of our conversations revolved around that, and some sort of little life “processing” was the topic. After some laughs and stories, two other pretty girls entered the room and asking help for hot water as well for their baths. Apparently the all around guy forgot about it already. So we invited them to join us instead and suggested to forget about taking a bath. Their names are Anne and Rishel.

This was one hell of a nightcap for me. It was such a wonderful experience and extraordinary at that. There we were my brother and I with complete strangers but it felt like it was a very open and safe place. We talked about life in general and what our hearts long for. The pains and agonies that we went through, at the same time the choices and the things that we’re doing to make us better persons. Again it dawned on me, that the desires of each person are to just have Love and give Love. We weren’t stifled about the time as the topics are so interesting and we were learning a lot from each other. Though the storm blowing outside was something to be worried about, we didn’t feel any concern with the situation. There was even brownout for a time but we were so at peace and safe with the fire that is keeping us warm and awake. This was also the first time where I spent a time with my brother Gene for long hours just enjoying the conversation. I found him at a different view, how funny, witty and loving he is in this situation. It made me so proud to have a brother like him. I’d take another trip with him given a choice; he can be my travel buddy…

We ended about 3 in the morning, we had 3 hours left to sleep to catch the first bus ride to Baguio of 6am. We woke up by 530am and rushed to our clothes and things to go to the bus stop. Luckily and we were so blessed, we got good comfortable seats, most of the people stranded also rode the bus. On the way, we reached a landslide and waited for almost 2 hours for the truck to clear the road. Anxiety didn’t cross my mind as I decided to sleep instead while waiting. The view was again marvelous, though it was difficult to detach myself that we’re leaving Sagada already. But then again there will always be a next time, I reassured myself…

My experience at Sagada was memorable, although it was such a short time; I’ve experienced a different community. Where people seem to be content and open; they welcome you and treat you kindly. I never felt any fear about being unsafe around the place. This could be the reason why a lot of foreigners decide to settle and reside here. There was diversity in personalities, difference in nationalities and color, but one thing I noticed about them, I can feel their Love. Their Love for each other, nature and culture. May this place be reserved and uncontaminated with impurities..

Go to Sagada! Experience a new you!

ROADBLOCK? TAKE A DETOUR!

Persistence and determination propelled successful people to the heights of their goals’ abundance. They didn’t see difficulties as stumbling blocks rather they saw it as stepping stones to success. They saw it as opportunities to better things. For them if a door closes they find other doors to that will open for them.

Obstacles can be very heartbreaking, they can be very overwhelming that it is easier to give up and surrender to defeat. And sometimes the universe will really test us and give us roadblocks to test our commitment to our vision. However successful people pursue and persist and just take them as lessons that can be used to overcome apparent obstructions.

Not even our well-meaning parents, relatives, friends and colleagues can tell us no and get a real job. These should not be reasons to turn our backs to our dreams. Our dreams are our real job and it is our fulfillment to achieve them. No amount of rejections and NOs should stop us to achieve our hopes and dreams.

From Fundamentals of Success:

Whenever you confront an obstacle or run into a roadblock, you need to stop and brainstorm three ways to get around, over, or through the block. For every obstacle, come up with three different strategies for handling the potential obstacle. There are any number of ways that will work, but you will find them only if you spend time looking for them. Always be solution-oriented in your thinking. Persevere until you find a way that works.

For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action.
You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.

-Mary Kay Ash
Founder, Mary Kay Cosmetics

Persistence and determination alone are omnipoten.
The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

-Calvin Coolidge
Thirtieth president of the United States

KAIZEN:

A Japanese term for constant and never-ending improvement, an age old philosophy used by warriors and modern businesses. It has become a personal mantra of millions of successful people. The world is experiencing a lot of change. Technology and the way of life is a proof of this, a perfect example of this, where Filipinos have used as a necessity and a status symbol is the Cellphone!

Similar trait of our Achievers in this modern world is their ability to adapt to change, may they be in business, sports or the arts. They are committed to continual improvement. Main reason why they remain on top and continue to be the best at what they do. Of course, they’ve learned from mistakes but remained to be focused on their vision. They have checkpoints to assess and evaluate their standing; a way or a process to always get better.

So what would it take to become successful or stay successful? We need to learn to ask ourselves, “How can I make this better? How can I do it more efficiently? How can I earn more from it? How can we do this with greater Love? If we keep an open mind and heart with the answers to those it will be sure to achieve Kaizen.

We have an innate desire to endlessly learn, grow, and develop.
We want to become more than what we already are.
Once we yield to this inclination for continuous and never-ending improvement,
We lead a life of endless accomplishments and satisfaction.

-Chuck Gallozzi

People call me Perfectionist, but I’m not. I’m a “Rightist.”
I do something until it’s right, and then I move on to the next thing.

-James Cameron

UNLESS YOU SEE IT IN YOUR MIND, IT WON’T BECOME REALITY

From “8 Secrets of the Truly Rich.” By: Bo Sanchez

Deep within you, you’ve programmed your life to operate on a particular level of income and total net worth. Because this is your psychological wallet or money-comfort zone, you cant see yourself earning twice as much or becoming a millionaire. You simply can’t. Something within you says, “Are you Nuts? Me? Earn twice as much? Become a Millionaire? Hah! I might as well imagine I’m Donald Duck.”

So you stay in you money comfort zone for the rest of your life.
It affects your love life too.
More likely, you’ll subconsciously get attracted to marry someone who also has the same size as you psychological wallet. So both of you can comfortably live in that zone happily ever after.
Well, I’ve got news for you.
Do you know who set that dial of your inner financial thermostat?
You did.
So anytime you like, you too can enlarge your psychological wallet at any size you want. You can raise your money comfort zone.
How? Start with your imagination.
Imagine yourself earning double of what you’re earning now by next year – through wise investing and some side business.
That’s right. Double.
Get comfortable with that.
See yourself not spending it all, but actually saving it, learning how to invest it and seeing your money grow.
See yourself with a business on the side, aside from your fulltime job.
See yourself as an investor.

See yourself giving generously – writing large checks – addressed to Bo Sanchez for his projects for the poor and his media ministry. (as you can see, this book as ulterior motives.)
You’ve got to see it in your mind.
Each week, Bro. Mike Velarde preaches to 300,000 people in the El Shaddai prayer meeting. That figure boggles my mind. During their anniversary, a million people congregated at the Luneta Grandstand. It was the late Jaime Cardinal Sin who asked him, “Bro. Mike, what do you have that I don’t have? Why do these people come when you call them to come?”
One day, I had a three-hour chat with Bro. Mike Velarde to ask him why.
“The Grace of God.” He said over and over again.
I believe him. Last Christmas, he invited me to preach to his massive audience – and I saw it before my eyes. Three hundred thousand people receiving grace!
And Bro. Mike does it by giving them hope. That’s why they keep coming back.
Bro. Mike asks them to raise their wallets for financial blessings – and 300,000 wallets go up.
He asks those who want to migrate to other countries to raise their passports – and thousands of green booklets are up in the air.
He makes them imagine their answered prayer. That they are healed. That they are debt-free. That they are working abroad.
In a very simple way, he makes them set goals and aim for them by the power of their imagination, by the power of their faith.

Unless you see it in you mind, it won’t become reality.

FEEDBACK:

One of the dreadful things to hear is feedbacks; because of the fear of failure and not being good enough, most of the time we dodge feedbacks. I know of a man who fear so much what people say to him and would avoid and escape when the time comes to evaluate his results. Obviously this man have not matured enough and hindered his growth as a person.

Feedback can either be good or bad to us; it is our means to evaluate our growth and effect to other people. Should we use it to our advantage we can capture our patterns and work to improve from there. It is also a great way to understand another individual and know their needs and their come from. It can be a tool to change our strategy and just a way to better handle the truth.

But is all feedback accurate and true for you? We also must be careful and consider the source. Not all feedback is useful for us. We should look into the situation and the psychological state of the person giving us the feedback. A person with psychological distortion who gives us feedback may not be speaking the truth. An angry-envious-drunk friend or colleague that tells us you’re a no-good f&@$ or tells us stop dreaming coz you’re hopeless is probably not a useful feedback. Now that’s something not accurate and not useful for us. However looking at the person’s psychological capacity is something that we should consider, obviously not a good source for feedback.

As a sales person, I’ve been successful in closing projects and accounts because I listen to my customers. Their feedback tells me what they need and what I can do for them. I listen to their complaints about my product and look at it as an opportunity for improvement. It may be tiring at times but bottomline we are both happy with the benefits that we get when things are getting better.

So what do we do when somebody tells us that we failed? Look at it as another opportunity to succeed and be better. But first acknowledge yourself for the effort that you’ve done. That it was the best you could do during that time. At that moment it was the most excellent work you’ve given considering your knowledge, awareness and skills. Be aware that you are still alive and that you have survived that setback. Look at the patterns of the people giving you the feedback. Find similarities from it, journal the learning or the lessons you’ve come across with and maybe title it as “what I’ve learned are….” And just be responsible with the results of that failure. Make sure that the necessary regrets or apologies are communicated to the people involved. Honest communication would ease out the situation especially when the failure is openly communicated.

However do not forget to go back to your successes. To keep your sanity and catch yourself from depression, make sure that you remind yourself of the successes in your life. This will remind you that it is okay to fail or have mistakes because you have proved to yourself that you are capable of success. And that you’ve done more things right than the wrong ones. Spend more time with people, who are positive and share the same vision as you. May it be your friends, family or colleagues that could compensate the Love and Affirmations that you need at this point in your life.

Lastly, go back to your vision, keep in mind the lessons learned, recommit to your goals and plans or better yet incorporate a new plan of action. End of the day, move forward to fulfill your dream. We will make a lot of mistakes but what is important is we learn from them and so the next time we may not do it again… and let us not be so hard on ourselves..

6 Ways to Get Respect Quickly, Despite Your Youth

Published by Chuck Westbrook on August 6th, 2007 in Work, Career Development, Employment

Establish Yourself As A Professional Professional

Are you interested in being seen for your contributions rather than your birth year? These 6 tips will help you to get noticed more quickly, earn you greater influence and responsibility, and get you closer to a level playing field.

Be a student of everyone:
Asking questions and taking advice isn’t a sign of weakness, and it won’t emphasize your youth either. You’ll get better faster, impress more people, and actually seem older.

Why it works: Seeking ways to improve is a sign of maturity and is the easiest way to gain the skills and knowledge that make you more effective. Plus, demonstrating a willingness to learn from your elders takes away a lot of the stereotypes and targets you will be marked with as a Millennial.

Write really well:

Develop your ability of written communication to the highest level, both in your daily emails and in deliverables for which you are responsible. This includes correct grammar, capitalization, and punctuation–even in email.

Why it works: If you can quickly fire off sharp emails, you will come across as highly capable and intelligent (provided your content isn’t inappropriate). Not everyone types well, and certainly not everyone writes well.

Today, many first impressions are made through email. If you present well there, you will be developing your personal brand, and when people are surprised at how young you are compared to what they expected, you will know that you’ve already broken some of their preconceptions about your generation.

Demonstrate leadership:

Help other employees to be more effective. For example, since you are a regular blog-reader, you probably are ahead of the curve when it comes to getting things done with computers. Be generous to help others format documents, create spreadsheets, or find information on the web. As for fellow younger workers, you’ll probably be able to answer many of their questions related to your industry and your company since you’re a student of everyone now. Concerning the boss, give appropriate amounts of ground-level feedback on how things can be improved if he/she is interested. Don’t suck-up, but do provide the kind of info they want to know.

Why it works: Nothing says maturity like leadership. If you have workers of every age looking to you to be more effective, you’ll have their respect by default.

Work smarter:

Create templates for common tasks and send them out to others who could use them. Write scripts or stock emails for common customer interactions. If you are in sales, design a killer territory plan and use tools like Jigsaw to get better conversion rates. Employ solid time-management to get more done in less time.

Why it works: When push comes to shove, intelligent managers will determine how to treat you based on performance alone. If you are the top producer in the department, you will usually be respected and rewarded. There aren’t many companies that don’t appreciate bottom-line results.

Show up:

Take advantage of opportunities to interact with upper-management. If it’s a small company, say yes when you are invited out to drinks or dinner. If it’s a larger organization, reach as high as is practical. Participate in forums, Q&As, and special project groups, and don’t be shy about introducing yourself at the proper moment. Your CEO might enjoy hearing the perspective of his tip-top inside sales representative, for example.

Why it works: In many cases, your boss’s boss’s boss is a very cool person. We’re probably not talking about someone who got their job on the strength of tenure alone, so there’s a good chance they aren’t as limited by notions of age as some career middle managers might be. This is just an instance of going to find the people who are most likely to respect the substance of who you are.

Avoid being an idiot:

Subtle advice, no? Anyone who’s spent any amount of time in an office has seen talented people who can’t stop shooting themselves in the foot with stupid habits. Improper attire, showing up late, inappropriate jokes, failure to stop talking about oneself… The list goes on and on. Exercise good judgment and at least be aware of the norms in your workplace. Like with great writing, you need to prove you can follow the rules before you can get away with breaking them.

Why it works: It’s hard to get respect when you’re fired.

GOAL:

A film by Danny Cannon; targeted to promote football in the United States. Goal is another feel good and inspirational movie. Where the protagonist shows that a dream would never be let down if a person has such persistence and strong hold to that vision.

Santiago Muñez is the main character played by Kuno Becker, a Mexican immigrant who works with his dad as a gardener but have an undeniable talent for football. Football clearly is his passion in life and while playing in a community football, a talent scout spots him thus opening an opportunity for him to play professionally.

Expectedly, Santiago keeps interest in the offer and decides to pursue the chance. However his father is against it and has made ways to stop Santiago. Amidst the heartbreak from his father’s acts, Santiago still fated to arrive at Newcastle with the help of his Grandmother. Santiago then proceeded to his try-out and showed that hard work and focus would then bring answered prayers.

GOAL is one of the films that will remind you on how to achieve your dreams. Despite the challenges that befalls you, most especially from a valuable relationship. It proves a point that one should pursue one’s passion. That in the end it will bring us happiness and that eventually our relationships will see to understand and be proud of our achievement.

Heartwarming experience, especially with the relationship of Santiago and his Dad, but simply it tells us that nothing is impossible…